PSYCHOTHERAPY for men
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” CS Lewis
More men than ever are searching for help, but many still hesitate to reach out. It can feel like climbing to the top of a diving board, wondering if you can make the leap.
You might have found this page by searching for something like:
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“Therapy for men in London”
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“Midlife crisis help”
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“Why do I feel numb all the time?”
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“I’ve got everything I wanted – so why do I feel lost?”
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“Porn addiction counselling”
If so, you’re not alone. These are the kinds of questions I hear from men every week.
I created this page because I specialise in working with men who are navigating shame, identity and emotional disconnection – and because I know how hard it can be to ask for help when you believe you should be able to solve problems on your own. I work to help build a way of relating that keeps your competence and restores connection, so you can be more present with yourself and those you love.
What Brings Men to Therapy?
Men often search for a therapist not only because of a single crisis, but when something just doesn’t feel right anymore. You might be:
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Struggling with shame, secrecy or self-loathing – maybe around pornography, compulsive behaviours, emotional suppression or issues from growing up
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Feeling burnt out, emotionally flat or numb, even if life looks fine on the surface
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Questioning your identity – as a partner, father, leader or man
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Facing a life transition – a breakup, career change or loss
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Feeling stuck – like you’re performing your life for others, not living it
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Carrying pressure – to provide, to succeed, to hold it all together, to be certain
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Feeling like a failure – not meeting other people's expectations or matching their successes
These experiences are more common than you think. But they’re hard to talk about – especially for men.
It’s Not Just the Symptoms — It’s What’s underneath
My postgraduate research focused on the problematic use of online pornography and how it relates to male identity, shame, and emotional avoidance (read more about it here).
What I found – and what I see in practice – is that compulsive patterns, secrecy and shutdown can be the headlines for something deeper, like:
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A sense of failure or not being enough
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Emotional disconnection, shame or numbness
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A fear of uncertainty or about your true self being seen
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A belief that you should be able to handle everything alone
If things like porn, relationship worries or private rules you can’t keep have become the headline, we’ll work at the level that changes the drivers – so your actions better align with your values without white‑knuckling. Confidentiality is clear from the outset.
Distress Is OFTEN About Control
Many men experience psychological distress as a response to uncertainty – and an attempt to regain control.
When life feels unpredictable, the instinct is often to double down on logic, structure and rational problem-solving abilities. But not everything can be fixed that way.
Trying to control what can’t be controlled – or ignoring our subjective feelings and experiences – often leads to frustration, anxiety, and emotional shutdown.
Before we can solve a problem, we need to understand it.
Curiosity scales better than willpower.
It's hard to think your way out
Men are often taught to be problem-solvers. To analyse, fix, and move on. But not everything in life can be solved that way.
Feelings are often dismissed as unreliable, messy, or irrelevant.
But the truth is: life is about emotions.
Purpose is a feeling – it’s not a task.
And if you’re not paying attention to your emotions, you’re missing the signposts to what matters most.
Therapy helps you integrate your emotional and relational world into your decision-making – so you can live with greater clarity, connection and meaning.
You Don’t Have to Stay the Same
You are under no obligation to be the same person tomorrow that you are today.
Therapy is not about fixing you – it’s about helping you reconnect with who you are, and who you want to become.
It’s about stepping out of autopilot and into a more intentional, authentic life.
Sometimes, you just need a different perspective.
Because it's hard to read the label when you're inside the jar.